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 Humans have been breathing air the same way for over 100,000 years. Apple is changing all that with iAir - the most revolutionary product in the history of mankind. Never before have people had access to this quality of air at a fraction of the cost of other company's air solutions. iAir's compression technology and quality control system paves the way for levels of air consumption the likes of which have never before been inhaled.The old way of breathing is just that - old. But iAir is changing all that. No more inhaling filthy particles from your home or office airspace, with iAir your quality of air is assured. iAir is available in three models: Good, with 40 cubic feet of compressed O2; Better, with 60 cu.ft.of compressed O2, and Best which holds up to 80 cu.ft. of compressed O2 and comes with a built-in smell injector.  Inside story"Regular" air is full of molecules that the human body just doesn't need. iAir saves your lungs most of the work by pumping oxygen directly where it's needed. This leads to more oxygen in the bloodflow, increased energy, and brain stumulation. iAir's carbon dioxide filtration and conversion system also helps recycle the air you exhale. It also does some stuff with your alveoli and air passing by your trachea, into your bronchioles and whatnot. Also, by using TUBA technology, or Totally Unbelievable Breathing Apparatus, iAir is able to squeeze more air into less space. The revolutionary Compaction Filter takes the molecules and crams them together really tightly, not unlike people in a subway at rush hour. TUBA then runs some sort of equation or something and packs even more air into the contraption.  iLife. Suddenly, it all connects.iAir comes bundled with the iLife suite of applications, including iTunes, iPhoto, iMovie and iDVD. And with iAir the thrill of creating your own stuff is exponentially better! As well, iAir increases the efficiency of bloodflow throughout the body, giving you intense, crack-addict-like energy for those long red-eyed nights of working on projects.
Accessory Package  Say goodbye to hunting down arcane adapters for your old air tank unit. Purchase the iAir Accessory Package, and have all the tools you need at your disposal. Comes complete with valves, tubes, hoses, clamps, Q-Tip brand cotton swabs, and even European oxygen converters. Sync with BluetoothAll iAir models can be custom-configured with an internal Bluetooth module to connect your digital devices wirelessly. Operating within a 30-foot radius, it enables wireless data transfers between a rapidly growing list of Bluetooth-enabled products, including the Apple Wireless Keyboard and Apple Wireless Mouse. Using iSync, you can use Bluetooth to synchronize your personal information between your iAir, your mobile phone and your Palm OS-based handheld. If youre interested in getting Bluetooth capability for your iAir, the easiest way is to have the Bluetooth module built in at the time you order your system you can order a Wireless Keyboard and Wireless Mouse at the same time, too. If you decide after purchasing your system that you want Bluetooth capability, you can easily plug in an external D-Link USB Bluetooth Adapter. More marketing spiel Powered by a G5 processor and using the same powerful and whisper-quiet fan system used in todays PowerMac, the iAir is able to deliver steady rates of air over prolonged time periods. Neutral bouyancy should please any SCUBA divers. iAir is the lightest tank on the market at 32 pounds, and the stylish arm straps allow for effortless application and removal. The 'Best' model is equipped with a scent injector, for which the following scents are available: Mountain Air, Dairy Pasture, Scottish Moor, Eau De Schiller, Cranapple-Bananaberry-Melonade, and Cupertino Bathroom. Y  ou won't believe dis shit, yoInside of each iAir resides a tiny gnome named Jefe. How can thousands of gnomes be named Jefe? Well, why is water wet? Or why is the sky full of happy dragons eating pixie sticks and singing the theme to The Great Space Coaster? Such questions are best left unanswered. But anyway, as I was saying, iAir is totally the shiznit, fo' real tho. I mean, Apple makes me write this stuff, but I'd be saying it anyway because it's just that cool. I mean you won't believe the difference between it and normal air. It's like a PC user that never used a Mac, they just can't believe the experience is that much better, because how could they imagine that that sort of coolness would exist? Oh, and you have to feed Jefe a diet of crushed carrots and caviar otherwise he gets grumpy and won't operate the hand-crank inside the iAir. And you can't make him do it, he's really admant - I mean when he sets his mind to being pissy he really follows through on it. Gotta admire that. Freakin' Jefe, man. |
Reaction “Every few years, Apple comes out with a machine that gets people talking in a way no Windows- compatible PC does.” — PC Magazine, Michael Miller more reaction&  iAir MiniChoose the beautiful and stylish iAir mini. A sleek and stunning chrome design and unbelievable feature set will blow your freakin mind, dude. Unavailable in Europe, Asia, Australia, Canada, South America, Africa and most of the US.  Effortless control at your fingertipsiAir's oxygen control system is almost effortless; with a flick of the wrist you can have any O2 setting you desire, from a thin trickle to a full blast. The chrome polish and award-winning Apple design will make you the envy of all your friends and most of your enemies. *Not responsible if people try to kill you, steal your iAir, then trade it on the black market for drugs.  Built-in FireWireEvery iAir has two superfast FireWire 400 ports built-in, so you can quickly and easily zip data and air over the connection. Back up your iAir via iSync, import music from your iPod, or just impress friends by showing them your cool FireWire cable.  Five USB portsSeriously, does anyone need this many USB ports on a freakin air tank? Well, maybe not, but we loaded 'em on anyway because we love you. And you never know when you might need them. Just minutes to the Internet The iAir is the quickest way to get on the Internet. Its so easy to set up and use, youll be online and surfing the web in minutes, using the built-in 56K V.92 modem, 10/100BASE-T Ethernet port or optional AirPort Extreme Card. All you need is an Internet service provider (ISP) the iAir comes complete with everything else. The Internet Setup Assistant appears the first time your iAir is powered on and automatically configures your system for your ISP. Optical mouse and full-size keyboard The Apple Mouse uses a high-precision optical sensor for unparalleled accuracy. The 108-key Apple Keyboard features 15 full-size programmable function keys, with special keys to adjust audio and eject CDs or DVDs, and a built-in two-port USB hub.  SuperMaskAll iAir models come with Apple's high uality Supermask air masks. Experience air like never before with 64-bit digital air quality. And since the iAir also provides power to the Supermask, you dont need an additional power brick. The result? Reduced cable clutter. Supermask snugly fits over most sizes of mandibles, and small medium and large mouthpieces come with it so be subsituted. Bottom line: you get to enjoy an incredible air experience. Compatible with Windows PCs The iAir lets you share files, send and receive email and instant messages with PC users. And because the iAir is designed to fit in to all network environments, you can use it to connect to wired and wireless Mac and PC networks. Whats more, you can run popular software applications such as Microsoft Office and seamlessly connect to hundreds of digital devices with plug and play ease of use.  iSight delivers high-quality videoUse iChat AV with iSight for personal video conferencing thats easy to use. Simply open the iSight shutter to start iChat AV. The iSight microphone cancels out noise from the side, transmitting your voice with absolute clarity. EarthLink  Its the Mac-friendly way to cruise the Internet. Get EarthLink Broadband with speeds up to 50 times faster than dial-up. Sign up today. |
