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WWDC Rumor Roundup and Forecast (2 Guys Style) |
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 Well, Steve's keynote at WWDC is on Monday, and it wouldn't be a Developer's Conference without some speculation on our part. Not that we're getting big heads or anything, but it's just a fact that 2 Guys is the premier destination for Apple rumor hounds. Most of our reputation is thanks to us doing immense amount of study and research, pure guesswork, and when that fails, total fabrication. Plus we've got Cosmic Stan - but he has yet to turn up, so it's up to us to see what Steve might unveil this coming Monday.
First, let's get the semi-serious stuff out of the way, then we can concentrate on the really important business of just making crap up.
Everybody knows that the odds on favorite in Vegas is new Apple displays that match the perforated aluminum G5 PowerMacs. Then there's the G5 iMac that a few analysts have started crowing about mainly just because Apple's inventory of G4 iMacs is really low.
AppleInsider talks about how signs are pointing to a new (and totally redesigned) iMac G5 from Apple. This is not really news, as Apple has most likely been working on a G5 iMac for some time. Will it be ready in time for WWDC though? Maybe. Will Steve intro it despite the fact that WWDC is usually reserved for professionals? (The "D" is for developer, after all.)
Well, ThinkSecret says it's just way too early for the intro of an iMac G5 because Apple supposedly "is just starting to build this product in Asia".
Personally I'd have to lean heavily toward "no new iMac G5", but then again, since when did not having much of a product to sell ever stop Apple before? Tons of Apple products have been debuted without any immediate supply (i.e. original and flat-panel iMacs, PowerMac G5, and AirPort Express just to name a few) so there may be a slight outside chance the new iMac G5 could rear it's head. Possibly. I'd throw some more qualifiers in there if I could think of any. Oh wait ... we may see an iMac G5 on Monday ... perhaps.
Moving on, let's talk about Tiger, or OS X 10.4 to the unwashed. Obviously, Tiger will be the focus of the Stevenote (to borrow an atATism), but what can we expect come Monday?
Well AppleInsider has been pointing at improved .Mac integration, faster iDisk performance, an updated Finder and overall OS interface, along with the usual spiffy 3D enhancements that will cause owners of CRT iMacs even more frustration that Quartz Extreme doesn't run on their system. Also, Think Secret reports that Apple will ship .Mac in a new retail box this July, strengthening the updated .Mac argument.
But other than that there really isn't much we could dig up solely by browsing to other rumor sites. And while .Mac is well liked by many people, it's just not enough to get really excited about. So in the interest of getting everyone as psyched as possible for the (Keynote-delivered?) keynote on Monday, we're going to be the first to tell the world that Apple is entering a brand new market.
That's right, come Monday Apple is going to blow people's minds by entering the snack cake and pastry food market. Too long have the likes of Little Debbie and Hostess been resting on their laurels. Honestly, what new products have we seen from them in the past decade? Nothing. Ho-ho's, Ding Dongs, Peanut Butter Sticks, Zebra Cakes, all debuted in the 80's or even earlier.
Apple is going to buck conventional wisdom yet again and do snack cakes like no other company. The dark days of non-innovation in the snack cake industry are over my friends, as Apple will lead us out of the mire and make our lives easier and give us much more enjoyment than we could imagine. The first such product that Apple will deliver?
Behold, iTwinkie - a wireless, creme-filled cake that fits in your pants pocket for easy consumption on-the-go.
Don't believe us? Just wait and see come Monday.
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June 26 2004, 4:01 PM EDT, by
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Comments:
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| nhmacusr |
6/26/04, 6:27 PM EDT |
I want an iMicrowavePizza!
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| sweetjimmyhugs |
6/26/04, 7:16 PM EDT |
I'm in the mood for a hotdog/twinkie sandwich.
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| HTML Samurai |
7/2/04, 2:57 PM EDT |
I am almost disappointed that there was no coverage of said event. But then again, I can't say too much, I didn't write one either. :(
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