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Microsoft Says 'Screw It.' |
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 Fed up with the development of Windows XP Service Pack 2, Microsoft executives have decided to just call it quits.
Continual delays, bugs, and problems with the new code breaking old applications, are cited as the major reasons behind the decision to drop SP 2. Other reasons include programmer lethargy and indifference toward the project.
"Ah, screw it", one engineer said. "Windows Longhorn will be ready in just a few short years, and who really needs security anyway? Besides, Doom 3 just came out and we've got to practice for the upcoming match against Oracle. We are going to crush those guys this year."
While the update was planned to give users better security and management of security resources (such as shipping with the built-in firewall on by default and adding a simple pop-up blocker that other browsers have had for years), testers have found that (pay attention now, this is an actual quote, not like those fake ones we usually do) "SP2 will wreak havoc on many security and firewall software utilities, forcing a redesign of antivirus suites, e-mail clients and firewalls", and will then subsequently poke users in the eye, kick their dog, steal their credit cards, and run away with their spouse/significant other to a nice warm island in the Carribbean.
Meanwhile, plans are being made for Longhorn to further steal borrow from Apple's aqua look, shading, and translucency, but also be backwards compatible for all of today's most popular viruses, spyware, and trojans. Longhorn will also perform the obvious feat of goring users with it's horns and trampling them. Test subjects are reported to say that it's not any more painful than current or past versions of Windows. |
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August 5 2004, 2:37 PM EDT, by
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Comments:
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| dab2 |
8/5/04, 4:14 PM EDT |
Boy, I hope my girl firend gets SP2, I've always wanted to go to the carribbean!
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| cAtraXx |
8/6/04, 8:25 AM EDT |
I hope they choke on that and die.
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| whatsinaname9000 |
8/6/04, 4:41 PM EDT |
hehehe....stupid microsoft....
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| SH |
8/6/04, 11:34 PM EDT |
"it's" = "it is"
"its" = the possesive form of "it"
"...with it's horns..." = "...with it is horns..."
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| Gramma |
8/7/04, 8:54 AM EDT |
well done SH, your (sic) right
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| Da John-like Creature |
8/7/04, 2:58 PM EDT |
* kicks SJH *
no speak of grammar unless you're an english teacher
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| Jonahan |
8/9/04, 1:40 PM EDT |
Awww man, why does people always gots ta pick on mah talkin skills? I never did no much 'bout no writin' er "riffmatic".
(Da John-like Creature, I think that was SH, not SJH... see what a simple missing J can do? Not to mention apostrophe....)
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| Da John-like Creature |
8/9/04, 5:38 PM EDT |
grrrr....IMA KILL YOU SH !!!!!!!!!!
SJH, you is safe. You're not the one impersonating yourself for confusing of me....
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| sweetjimmyhugs |
8/10/04, 8:02 PM EDT |
Dammit man! Quit kicking me and stuff.
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