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Salaristic Integrity |
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 Wow, a whole week of no new stuff from the 2 Guys' gang! I know everyone has just been clamouring for original content from the most coolest guys on the Mac Web, so it's back to sacrificing our very important time to bring you the informed, concise, hard-hitting and professional level of journalism that only 2 Guys' can offer. Or maybe we're just goofing off at work and slapping words together in a very sophomoric fashion. You be the judge.
Anyhooski, a lot has gone on since we posted last: The Paris Expo brought us new PowerBooks and a wireless mouse and keyboard, and um ... ok, that's really been it, other than the fact that Bill Palmer is back! Plus, I just stumbled on a juicy morsel of unsubstantiated rumor from LoopRumors, which claims that Apple will run a Super Bowl ad this year (it's the 20th anniversary of the Mac AND of Apple's historic '1984' commercial). Looprumors says that the ad is meant to have as much impact as the 1984 commercial, and that "While the spot is still in storyboard stages, sources indicate that the ad is unlike anything Apple has done in the past". That gives a lot of Mac geeks with no interest in football reason to watch the marketing event of the year (and no, I don't mean Pigs on Parade).
But let me get to the story that prompted me to get my butt back in gear and actually write something. C|Net reports that Cisco's CEO, John Chambers, has for the second year in a row requested a $1 salary and no bonus (no bonus meaning $85.7 million in stock options). A $1 salary. Hmmm... That sounds familiar... I know someone has done that recently, I just can't put my finger on who it is. Who's the CEO of that company that gets copied all the time? I can't think of his name! Wears a turtleneck ... doesn't eat meat ... ah heck, it'll come to me.
Anyhow, regarding salaries in the tech sector, C|Net reports that Microsoft's Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer got slight raises this year (and I'm not talking about when Carly Fiorina walked by! * Insert rimshot sound here *). The wonder-duo of Gates and Ballmer "each received $551,667 in pay and $313,447 in bonus last year, up from $547,500 in salary and $205,810 in bonus a year ago". That's really only a raise of $4167 in salary (chump change) but a $107,637 increase in bonus pay. I suppose they earned it - I mean, look at all the innovative stuff Microsoft has done in that last year or so: there's ... um ... well there's XBOX ... and ... well we can't forget the great security holes, allowing a new virus or three every week!
I guess we shouldn't be so critical of Microsoft. Heck, back in March, Apple Computer also gave out bonuses to more than 200 employees. This is according to a C|Net article (and yes, wise guy - it's apparently my only source of news this week. Y'know, you could always feel free to submit news links!) that also states Apple gave out the bonuses "despite the fact that the company fell short of targets it had established for such payments". The thing is, the bonuses "applied to 230 executives at the director level or higher", and did not include Steve Jobs (that's the guy!) or other big names at Apple, like Fred Anderson or Phil "slap my ass" Schiller. Also, "Lower-ranking Apple workers who take part in a separate bonus program were eligible for bonuses, although the total pool was reduced because Apple missed its companywide targets, the company said."
So Apple does poorly, yet the little people still get bonuses, while the big brass doesn't get anything. The guys at Microsoft know that their product has caused untold damage to thousands upon thousands of people and yet they feel they were 'successful' and therefore deserve a pay raise. If you didn't know already, that right there should tell you all you need to know about the difference between these two companies.
In related news, Steve Jobs is reportedly still making just $1 a year (plus perks) and Al Gore's payment for being on Apple Board of Director's is a case of kumquats, a chinchilla named Jeff, and a bag of pork rinds. |
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September 19 2003, 10:22 AM EDT, by
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Comments:
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| iKen |
9/19/03, 1:13 PM EDT |
"Phil "slap my ass" Schiller" I Laughed so hard at that one, 2 drops of pee came out... :)
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| MacSchlong |
9/19/03, 3:17 PM EDT |
And what about Steve 'Dancing Monkeyboy' Ballmer? I dump a turd everytime I see him!
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ZackMac
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9/19/03, 7:41 PM EDT |
Phil "slap my ass" Schiller?
Jonahan, I didn't realize you two were so close!
And what about: "Al Gore's payment for being on Apple Board of Director's is a case of kumquats, a chinchilla named Jeff, and a bag of pork rinds."
I get all those things in my salary except the pork rinds. So Al "Pork Rind" Gore isn't so hot after all!
-Zack
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| Jonahan |
9/20/03, 11:06 AM EDT |
LOL!
Yes, Phil and I will always have that weekend in Mexcio ...... (sigh) ....
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Folks still remember the day ole Bob Riley came bouncing down that dirt road in his pickup. Pretty soon, it was bouncing higher and higher. The tires popped, and the shocks broke, but that truck kept bouncing. Some say it bounced clean over the moon, but whoever says that is a goddamn liar.
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