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 With the incredible amount of mail we get, it's nearly impossible to answer them all, although we do try! Which is why we decided to answer a few of the more common questions that we've been asked recently. So on with the questions!
What will MacWorld San Fran 2004 bring us?
Excitement and urine-soaked pants. Along with some new Cinnamon Displays, a headless iMac, and an Apple-branded tablet that transmits wirelessly using the ultra-fast 802.15.3 protocol. Not to mention seeping pores and babies being born with three arms due to all the exposure to unseen wireless traffic, but hey, it's all worth it to be able to watch Starsky and Hutch reruns from the bathroom!
My PC friend says that Apple sucks and they're going out of business. And he thinks you're site is dumb too, and questions your sexuality as well.
Umm... that wasn't really phrased as a question, but I think that your "friend" is actually you, and that you are a PC troll. How'd you get in here anyway? Nevermind that, but let me say that you are like -soooo- wrong on so many points. See, Microsoft actually owns Apple ('cause, y'know they bought all that stock in the late 90's) so if Apple sucks, then so does MS, and therefore so do YOU! So NYAH! And we're totally not gay. Except for that one lonely night in Tiajauna ...
What's the best way to convert a person to a Macintosh?
You do it the way we've all been converted - simple brainwashing.
When will the iMac line be updated? What about G5 PowerBooks? And what about iPods with color LCD's? Huh huh? What about ... what about holographic screens you control with your hands like in Minority Report?
Look, I think you're missing the really big question here, which is "When will Apple ship an Airport-enabled toaster!?". Think about the possibilities! You can walk into an office and automatically find all Airport-equipped toasters via Rendezvous. You can schedule toast jobs, specify darkness ... the possibilities are endless! And Apple will be the company to bring it to us.
'Course, Dell will copy it, and the cheap knockoff will go haywire and char the toast and then shoot it across the room knocking out your office-mate Phil. But it's ok, because MAN that guy talks a lot.
Will Virtual PC 7.0 not suck?
Well, it's now being made by Microsoft, so the odds are not very good. Matter of fact, Vegas odds are at 7-1 right now that it will, indeed, suck. We got in early at 10-1, but some Redmond action has pushed the odds down a bit. The 2GAMAAW crew highly recommends emptying the sock beneath your matress and plunking it down on the DOES SUCK line.
I'm thinking about getting my girlfriend an iPod for Christmas, but I've heard the battery life just really, really blows. My brother had one and the battery died, and we made a movie about it and stuff. Apple wouldn't refund the money and now he's screwed. So ... would you guys post some links to our site?
Obviously someone didn't listen when I said "NO NEISTAT BROTHERS". Geesh. Those guys are deplorable. And can someone get me a ham sandwhich?
Rolling Stone recently posted an interview with Steve Jobs, and in it he says that Mac users are gay, and they're also very very dumb. How do you respond to that?
What the!? Who the hell let this guy in again?
OK, Steve Jobs never said that. I think he did say something about Mac users being very suave and good with the ladies and such. I think he also pointed out that PC geeks are "pimple-faced little dweebs who live in their parents (or grandparents) basements and don't, in fact, know what a real woman is".
All reader questions are real questions from real people, except for the ones we totally just made up. Please submit any actual questions to
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December 10 2003, 9:00 AM EDT, by
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Comments:
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| sweetjimmyhugs |
12/10/03, 3:18 PM EDT |
You missed one question that I've been sending in since day one:
How come all of the ads that promised a larger male member have disappeared from my email once I started using a Mac with Mail 1.3. Now I'll never know how to make it bigger....
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| iKen |
12/10/03, 6:51 PM EDT |
because using mail 1.3 actually makes your [edited]male anatomy[/edited] bigger
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| HTML Samurai |
12/11/03, 8:18 AM EDT |
Really?!?!?!?
Time to stop using Pine!
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(The good news is there's always the shoutbox, the forums or the contact form if you're socially-inclined at the moment!)
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Deep Thoughts |
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I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he's flying along, low to the ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground. Now that's a documentary.
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