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Why is Tiger compared to Longhorn? |
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 Imagine if you will the following scenario:
[setting] Ford Press Conference, lots of reporters in attendance, main Ford PR guy stands up to speak.
[MFPRG (thats Main Ford Public Relations Guy for those of you asleep at the wheel)] Ford is happy to announce the production of a new car, the Axion. It is the newest, most advanced vehicle ever produced. Solar based it can travel almost 400 miles on a single charge. Additionally, it employees a new alloy making it the safest car in the world. And, with stellar reliability, built in media center and our 10 year no hassle warranty we fully expect this to be the best selling Ford in history. Questions?
[Faceless reporter #1] Was this car produced to compete with Honda's new Solar Civic XL?
[MFPRG] No, of course not. This car has been something we at Ford have been working on for the last 15 years. We invented all of the technology that goes into the Axion and thought up the ideas for it 20 years ago.
[Faceless reporter #1] So, you have been designing this car for 20 years?
[MFPRG] Yes, absolutely.
[Faceless reporter #1] And what of the allegations that you are merely copying Honda's design?
[MFPRG] Preposterous! Like I said before, we created all of the technology that goes into that car. Besides, everyone knows that we invented the car. We also didn't use our market position to illegally steal ideas from other businesses repeatedly for the last 20 years and we most certainly haven't copied anyone. In fact, they have been copying us since the beginning of their company.
[Faceless reporter #2] Wait, say what? Every time you make a car it looks like a piece of shit knock off of a 2 year old Honda design. And um, actually you didn't invent the car either. A guy named . . .
[MFPRG] Next question.
[Faceless reporter #3] So, when is the Axiom shipping?
[MFPRG] In about 2 years.
[silence, crowd looks stupidly at MFPRG, a dog barks in the distance, the fat guy in the front farts loudly, a cell phone rings but no one answers it]
[Faceless reporter #1] So, your newest, badest car, which is to compete with the current Honda Civic, won't be out for another 2 years?
[MFPRG] Correct.
[Faceless reporter #5] Question. How fucking stupid do we look, rough estimate?
[MFPRG] Rough estimate? Well, you were fucking stupid enough to buy a Ford in the first place so that should tell you something. Next question please.
[Faceless reporter #2] So, it really will be competing with the car Honda makes in 2 years, not todays Civic.
[MFPRG] I can't comment on that at this time. That is a marketing decision we have yet to make.
[Faceless reporter #2] No, actually that is called logic. The car you make in 2 years won't compete with todays cars, it will compete with the cars produced in 2 years.
[MFPRG] Next question.
[Faceless reporter #1] So, maybe you could explain something to me. Honda's new Civic has all of the features plus some that you are saying "might" appear 2 years from now in the Axiom. So, how exactly are they coping you? Do they have a time machine that allows them to travel to the future so they can rip off your specs? Or are they psychic? Is it the tarot cards? Tea leaves? Divine inspiration? Hey, let go of me!
[Faceless reporter #1 is dragged into a back room by large Ford security people, they claim "they just want to talk", he is never seen again]
[Faceless reporter #4] So, how much will the Axiom cost?
[MFPRG] $30,000 for the base model and $40,000 for the luxury model. $100,000 if you want to have more than one person ride in the car with you.
[Faceless reporter #4] But the Civic only cost $15,000 don't you think . . .
[At this point the reporter notices the Ford security people walking towards him]
[Faceless reporter #4] Er, yes, that is all the questions I have for now.
[MFPRG] Well, if thats all of the questions I think we are done.
In every review I have read of Tiger it is compared to Longhorn. Why? I don't understand, you can't buy Longhorn. Its not on the shelf yet. When you go buy an issue of Consumer Reports they don't review some products in stores to future shit that might come out one day. Who cares? Imagine showing up to a NFL game between the Redskins and the Cowboys. The Redskins walk onto the field and warm up but there are no Cowboys in sight. Then, right before the game starts the announcer informs the crowd that the Cowboys are still practicing and that they will arrive at the stadium in 2 years. WTF? How stupid would that be? Now think of how amazingly stupid that would be if the ESPN crew started breaking down this "future game".
"Well Troy, the Redskins look good at running back but the Cowboys are going to draft a center next year and then train him up real good so that he can stop the run."
"Yeah, that could be a problem for the Redskins Pat. And since Dallas is going to acquire a pro bowl safety in the free agency soon it will make it that much harder for Washington to score."
Um, what?
Anyway, I figured that made about as much sense as this posting of mine. Enjoy. |
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May 2 2005, 12:08 PM EDT, by |
Comments:
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| panth |
5/2/05, 12:27 PM EDT |
You know, there was another guy who thought he was pretty clever with analogies, only he called them 'parables'. They nailed him to a tree.
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| jstoup |
5/2/05, 12:38 PM EDT |
And the citizens of Delphi executed Aesop over a slightly less severe charge.
And so where are we going with this?
:)
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| re: panth |
5/2/05, 12:42 PM EDT |
yeah, my thoughts exactly... panth, presidents, heads of state, other religious figures, teachers, comedians, and many other people are "clever with analogies". what, you gonna nail us all up to two pieces of wood slashed together to prove that your pathetic worshipping of windows is valid?
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| iKen |
5/2/05, 2:05 PM EDT |
Hey! I like Fords!!!
Oh wait. I completely missed the whole point of that didn't I?
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| fuzzmanmatt |
5/2/05, 2:22 PM EDT |
I thought Isuzu made the Axiom...
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| Jonathan |
5/2/05, 2:45 PM EDT |
Hey, I don't want no fart pipe's on my mac's!
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| DJLC |
5/2/05, 4:13 PM EDT |
The only idiots who compare Tiger to Longhorn are the ones who are going to buy / steal Longhorn and install it in two years.
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| okcalla |
5/2/05, 6:16 PM EDT |
hehe am i the only one that has agreed with most if not all of this guys articles?
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| dab2 |
5/2/05, 6:37 PM EDT |
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Well, Well, Well, I just happened to exchange emails with one Mr. Rob Endrerle on this very subject. (No joke!) It was a rather long email I sent him but this is one out-take:
I am curious about where you derived your point-of-view when discussing Mac OS X 10.4 Tiger. When writing for TechNewsWorld you said, Tiger has a number of features that appear to have been pulled from Longhorn's preview last year. You then go on to discuss Spotlight, Smart Folders, and Dashboard Widgets as if these were invented in the last few years by Microsoft for the yet to be released Longhorn version of Windows. What I find odd about this is that all of these concepts have been around for years and have been implemented on other devices or operating systems. I am not claiming that Apple invented any of these concepts, but I am questioning your assumption that Apple is copying Microsoft.
I also finding myself questioning your choice to continuously bring up Longhorn in an article entitled Apple's Tiger vs. Windows XP 64-Bit Edition vs. Linux&
& I do not understand where Longhorn fits into a discussion of Windows XP 64-Bit Edition, Linux, and OS X 10.4. Longhorn is at least eighteen months out, by then Apple may well have OS X 10.5 on the market and who knows what will happen in the wonderful world of Linux. If you had limited your discussion to only the operating systems listed in the title your article would have sounded less bias and would have greater credibility.
To these two sections he replied:
& my point only was that Microsoft showcased them first and it kind of served them right, given they delayed their product, that Apple got to market first. To suggest that either Apple or Microsoft dont copy, given the Xerox roots, would be silly in any case. I had just met with Jim, who heads Windows development for Microsoft, and he was clearly pissed that Apple stole his ideas. Silly really, first one to market wins the point, whos idea it was is seldom important. Apple won this round.
I only brought up Longhorn because it was the major focus of everything else Ive been reading and the only OS that was released with the 64 bit version of Windows which has been getting limited play.
What do you all think? I was trying to write in a manner that would encourage him to reply with a thoughtful email. You be the judge.
By the way he also wrote:
If you would have done it differently Ill take that criticism into account next time. Youre probably right I could have crafted it better (but then I always think I could have done it better).
We will have to wait and see if this he really takes my criticism into account next time.
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| ameer |
5/3/05, 2:06 AM EDT |
now that you mention it, yes, i've noticed a lot of comparison between the two. however, we didn't even mention the longhorn in our review. read our tiger review at www.livedigitally.com, and see what we thought of the newest big cat.
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| nhmacusr |
5/3/05, 8:06 AM EDT |
I think the two companies themselves started a lot of that hype. Having the banners at last years WWDC was probably a contributing factor (Welcome to Longhorn etc...). What is really sad is that the industry pundits don't really have any original thoughts. They just take whatever is fed to them from both companies. Like in Enderle's response to dab2 "I had just met with Jim, who heads Windows development for Microsoft, and he was clearly pissed that Apple “stole” his ideas." Apple is making the comparison because they got there first (there is a lot of merit to that).
Enderle is an ass hat. God forbid he go out and buy a copy of Windows XP 64 to look at. He is blaming his lack of research for an article because he couldn't find any sources? "I only brought up Longhorn because it was the major focus of everything else I’ve been reading and the only OS that was released with the 64 bit version of Windows which has been getting limited play." Sounds to me like you should have rethought the article. What a putz.
Microsoft is playing catch up. They are going to say whatever they can to take attention away from Tiger. No matter that the comparison isn't relevant.
If you look at it from Microsft's perspective, it is the only play they can make. It just shows that they don't have anything on the market that comes even close. They have to compare Tiger to a system that is in development and dreadfully behind schedule. That can only look good for Apple.
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| MACMANIAC |
5/3/05, 12:13 PM EDT |
Of course winders is going to claim Apple copied their ideas in Tiger they have to divert the attention away form the things Apple did'nt copy. Thinks like....oh...blue screen of death, second rate products that are a day late and a dollar short. If operating systems were street cars windows would be a Honda with a loud muffler, miles of neon tubing and a loud stereo. Mac operating systems would be a 70 GTO Judge with a 455 4-speed with bits and pieces of Hondas and fords in the tread of its tires.
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| Faceless Reporter #1 |
5/3/05, 12:28 PM EDT |
Help ! masdfmmmemfmmsmm !
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| panth |
5/3/05, 2:31 PM EDT |
to whom it may concern: was...joke...invest in a sense of humor. i love jstoup's articles..in especially his use of analogies, and he seemed to either get the joke or at least reply in kind. now if you'll excuse me, i have to get back to jerking off over my picture of bill gates.
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| jstoup |
5/4/05, 8:34 AM EDT |
->fuzzmanmatt
I think you are right, sorry. Its just a name I pulled out of thin air. If it bothers anyone else I can change it.
Do you, or anyone else, have any suggestions as to what I should rename it?
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| re: panth |
5/4/05, 3:52 PM EDT |
yummers! bill in panties!
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| noob4life |
5/7/05, 12:02 PM EDT |
Great article as usual, jstoup. You have a way with analogies and parables and should be commended.
Also to MACMANIAC - Of course winders is going to claim Apple copied their ideas in Tiger they have to divert the attention away form the things Apple did'nt copy. Thinks like....oh...blue screen of death, second rate products that are a day late and a dollar short.
Good point, the only thing Longhorn needs now is a flash movie at startup of Gates recruiting for his army of WindowWashers or whatever. He might be saying something like this in the movie: "Welcome to Longhorn, I am Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft, and I can buy your whole state or province, if you are a foreigner. I know there have been allegations against Microsoft by Apple that we steal ideas here at Microsoft, but that is simply untrue. I have never stolen anything from Apple or Xerox in my life, but Apple steals ideas from me daily, especially for their new release codename: Tiger. Steve Jobs is a bad man, in fact anyone who letter-bombs Apple Headquarters gets a free trip to Microsoft HQ + $2 million dollars. I'm obscenely wealthy, I could shoot Steve Jobs in the face, and buy my way out of prison. Download more covert missions which ensure my world monopoly at: www.microsoft DOT com."
That isn't too far off, for example Longhorn is ONLY two years away according to Microsoft. By the time it rears its ugly head, the people will be totally sick of XP and switch to some new distro of linux or Mac. That is, unless Microsoft releases propaganda to keep the people hooked on windows, "You are getting Verrrrrry stoopid.... you will buy Longhorn....." Heh.
Marijuana analogy: Apple deals some quality kick-ass product if you ask me, whereas Microsoft's has to be laced with embalming fluid, heroin, and crack to even begin to compete. And sometimes Microsoft's crack/skag/fluid-laced product kills people. I've been smokin' Apples for about 6 months or so, and I am still groovin'.
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