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A Totally Real and Not Fake in Any Way Interview With Steve Jobs |
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 2GAMAAW has the pleasure of interviewing none other than the great Steven P. Jobs! Why he chose to deign to speak with us ... er ... deigned to choose to speak with us ... er ... why he wanted to talk to us of all people we'll never know, but we prepared our questions and nervously sat down with the man, the legend, the ... oh hell, we'll just get to it, here's the interview:
2GAMAAW: Hi Steve, thanks for meeting with us today!
SJ: No problem, glad to be here. Always glad to support a site that promotes diversity. I mean, we had to get rid of the rainbow Apple logo a while back because that might have been sending the wrong signal, but hey, what you guys are doing is great.
2GAMAAW: Um...er...I think you got the wrong impression ... see, we actually like women, quite a lot in fact -
SJ: [In a soothing voice] Hey hey ... it's totally ok. We're all friends here. There's no need for secrets.
2GAMAAW: No really Steve, we're not gay! Not that there would be anything wrong with that, but
SJ: [Interrupting] Whatever you guys do in the privacy of your own home is fine. I'm sure the entire Mac community would support you if you decided to come out.
2GAMAAW: Er, look, we'd really like to ask a question about Apple. Like what about the new iBook logic board and iPod battery replacement programs? Are these precedents of how Apple will handle Customer Support better in the future, or did Apple just bend to public pressure?
SJ: Say, is that an original C.M. Coolidge? Man you guys have great taste! Always liked those dogs.
2GAMAAW: Thanks! Actually it's a poster we got as a gag gift but yeah pretty cool huh!? But - hey... you're dodging the question!
SJ: Hey, did you know that dog spelled backwards is god!? Freaky huh!?
2GAMAAW: Wait just one dog-gone minute here ... one more question - what's a better name for a product, the 'HP iPod' or the 'HP Digital Music Player'.
SJ: I'd go with "HP Hard-drive-based Digital Music Player With Limited Personal Digital Assistant Functionality And a Few Games", or the HP "HDMPLPDAFF" for short. Catchy, no?
2GAMAAW: I knew it! You're not Steve at all, but some imposter!
[Tears off the imposter's Steve Jobs mask to reveal...]
2GAMAAW: Dustin Diamond!!!!!! What the hell!???
Dustin Diamond: I haven't had a decent paying job in years, so the big Steve has had me doing the body double thing.
2GAMAAW: Cool. Um... so ....
Dustin Diamond: ...
2GAMAAW: Right.
Dustin Diamond: I'll leave now.
2GAMAAW: Great, thanks!
[Dustin leaves]
2GAMAAW: I thought that went rather well. |
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January 29 2004, 1:33 PM EDT, by |
Comments:
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| sweetjimmyhugs |
1/29/04, 3:34 PM EDT |
Screech would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids!
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| Rick |
1/29/04, 6:10 PM EDT |
you should have asked if the HP HDMPLPDAFF will come in colors!
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| speedyrev |
1/29/04, 6:14 PM EDT |
How bout a column called, "Ask Steve." We all could submit Q's and you could make up A's!
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| stickman67 |
1/29/04, 11:54 PM EDT |
I could have lived the rest of my life without seeing the Saved by the Bell website. Really. I could have.
*Sob!*
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| rlhamon |
1/30/04, 6:13 AM EDT |
I think I just pissed myself.
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| stickman67 |
1/30/04, 6:52 AM EDT |
Well do mop it up, and stop standing around all red-faced and goggle-eyed, me old sweet potato!
Smells like a French dunny in here!
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| Jonahan |
1/30/04, 8:33 AM EDT |
Make up answers?!? Speedyrev, I am apalled that you would think we would do such a thing. Pff... make up stuff - who do you think we are, CNET?
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| stickman67 |
1/30/04, 5:50 PM EDT |
CNET? Naaah! We thought you were FOX!
And as an Australian citizen, on behalf of all Australians, I would like to take this opportunity to apologise for Rupert Murdoch.
We're sorry about that.
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| Jonahan |
2/3/04, 12:41 PM EDT |
What about Russell Crowe? I think the US should start putting tariffs on imported Australian actors. It's been downhill ever since Mel Gibson. ;)
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| ZackMac |
2/5/04, 1:35 AM EDT |
Hey, Mel Gibson is a Patriot! Er..wait.. that was just a movie, wasn't it?
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This article is archived, so you may not comment on it.
(The good news is there's always the shoutbox, the forums or the contact form if you're socially-inclined at the moment!)
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