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Apple Grounds iPod |
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 Apple Computer is soon to put iPod production to a screeching halt. The world's best selling digital music player and cultural phenomenon, the iPod, will soon be temporarily unavailable.
Sources report that, apparently, Apple is tired of having to fight off requests from companies that want Apple to open the iPod, or want to take the iPod out from some drinks, even a few that have asked for iPods' hand in marriage.
"It just never ends, you know?", One Apple exec was heard to have remarked. "It's one thing after another with iPod, she just keeps asking for more money, is never home before curfew, and the people she's hanging out with lately ... well, I'm just not sure they have her best interests in mind. I have higher hopes for iPod mini."
Apple is reported to have no other choice but to ground iPod for her own good. Stan Ng, Apple's iPod Line Manager, said "We didn't want to have to do this, but iPod left us no choice." Yelling through iPod's closed bedroom door, Stan added "And don't even think about using Rendezvous or Airtunes, young lady! You just wait until your father gets home."
The great patriarch himself, Steve Jobs, was said to be beside himself. "We invested millions in R&D on her, and this is how she treats us? We'll just see if she gets any more Software Updates. And her playlists will consist of only classical music and Barry Manilow for one month."
Phil Schiller is the only Apple exec to have taken iPod's side in this fracas.
Update: iPod has since moved out of 1 Infinite Loop and is staying with some friends, namely a Dell Digital DJ and some *shudder* flash-based players. To make ends meet, iPod is said to be considering a move into porn acting under the gentle tutelage of Jenna Jameson.
If you spot iPod, please tell her to go back home, her parents are very worried. She's a 30GB 4th generation model and was last seen wearing a green iSkin Evo. A sexy green iSkin Evo. |
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August 27 2004, 4:32 PM EDT, by
 |
Comments:
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| adam jackson |
8/27/04, 6:10 PM EDT |
sorry guys but there is no 30gb 4th gen, but good job and if you want her sleek make her the 20 gb 4th gen.
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| DJ-LC |
8/27/04, 7:51 PM EDT |
Yeah, like I would return her to her parents ?
I'd take her home and see if I can get that sexy green iSkin Evo off...
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| matty |
8/28/04, 9:03 AM EDT |
Do 4th gen iSkins exist? I can't get them in Australia but then again, down here we still buy our music on CD's. grrr
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| Jonahan |
8/28/04, 9:20 AM EDT |
Focus, people! This is about the iPod's future, not bickering about minutiae that the writer may or may not have gotten correctly.
Besides, you all should have assumed that the 2GAMAAW staff is privvy to some high-level prototype stuff that's not available to the general public. We're not, but that's what you should have assumed.
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| itsamac |
8/28/04, 12:20 PM EDT |
i got it:
iSkins for humans that match the iSkins for iPod
so you and your iPod can be twins i guess
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| DJ-LC |
8/28/04, 7:53 PM EDT |
I see iPod's future....
iSkin-less in my bedroom...
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| itsamac |
8/28/04, 8:55 PM EDT |
I see iPod's future....
one that vibrates
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| DJ-LC |
8/29/04, 2:31 PM EDT |
Hey everyone, me and iPod jut got back from the hospital with cute little JohnPod ! Anybody want to hold him ?
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| itsamac |
8/29/04, 9:03 PM EDT |
people at school always ask me
"do you have sex with your iPod"
really they do
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| iKen |
8/30/04, 11:50 AM EDT |
people at school always ask me
"do you have sex with your iPod"
really they do
Well............
Do you?
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| sweetjimmyhugs |
8/30/04, 12:10 PM EDT |
I'm not sure if I want to know the answer to that...
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| itsamac |
8/30/04, 1:30 PM EDT |
no comment
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This article is archived, so you may not comment on it.
(The good news is there's always the shoutbox, the forums or the contact form if you're socially-inclined at the moment!)
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