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Mystery Of The PowerMac G5 Delay Solved |
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 Mac users everywhere have been eagerly awaiting faster PowerMac G5's from Apple for some time. The normal timeframe for speed-bumped PowerMacs has come and gone, and Apple is approaching Steve Jobs' goal of having 3.0+ Ghz Macs by the end of summer.
A lot of speculation has surrounded this story, but most rumor sites point to poor production of G5 chips, although some have brought up the possibility that starved Apple engineers gobbled up the chips the moment they hit the loading docks at Cupertino.
Our operatives have recently discovered that neither of these scenarios are true (Ok, you got us - it's just us and Cosmic Stan). Actually, the new PowerMac G5's are in ready supply, but they just can't get away from some guy at a party in Brighton.
That's right, apparently the PowerMacs were left as the focus of attention when the PowerBooks and new iBooks went out on the veranda for a smoke. Annoying Man took the opportunity to pester the G5's with question after question, and random stories with no point whatsoever. Backed into a corner and unable to find an excuse to break away, the PowerMacs idly drank some punch and tried their best to let the guy know they really weren't interested in talking to him. Not wanting to appear rude, the G5's furtively scanned the room for looking for reasons to escape Annoying Man's pestering, but even with their combined processing power, they couldn't find a way to ditch him.
It wasn't until very recently that Steve Jobs and Phill Schiller spotted the G5's and realized the dire situation they were in. Steve sent in some refurbished eMacs to distract the Man with some gardening smalltalk, and the PowerMacs were finally able to slip away.
Apple is now working on last minute updates and should have them ready to go by WWDC.
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May 12 2004, 11:21 AM EDT, by
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Comments:
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| nhmacusr |
5/12/04, 2:49 PM EDT |
I thought I saw some G5s hitching a ride by I-80 over in Vermont last weekend.
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| guy |
5/12/04, 3:43 PM EDT |
I'm just glad that the PowerMacs weren't found raped in an alleyway.
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| rlhamon |
5/12/04, 3:43 PM EDT |
Wow that's better than the first rumors you know about the power mac and the little brown pill... well we won't bring that up again.
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| stickman67 |
5/12/04, 11:38 PM EDT |
It's a CIA plot involving operatives from El Salvador to Afghanistan.
But if I told you any more I'd have to kill you.
Never speak of this again.
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| random person |
5/20/04, 9:21 PM EDT |
well from what i heard is that the silicon on insulator technology craps out when pushed to 3ghz and higher. the temps of it becomes uncontrollable. atleast that what amd said and they used ibm's design to make their new line of cpu's
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| sweetjimmyhugs |
5/22/04, 12:28 AM EDT |
I heard that the reason the 3Ghz G5s are so far away is that the engineers keep trying to make grilled cheese sandwiches on them.
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| Annoying Man |
5/25/04, 2:10 PM EDT |
<* in a dry and scratchy nasally voice *>
Neeeeeaaaaaarhhh! Whaaat are you guys talking about? G5's huh? I had a G5 once, but I sold it to some guy because I had to come up with rent money because I had to pay for a kidney operation for my Aunt Thelma. Like Aunt Thelma always says, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
Aaaaaaanyway, I like the site except for the drapes it just doesn't match aaaaanything.
This one time, I was at the Deli, and would'tchaknowit, I'm accosted by a man in a gorrilla suit. He starts throwing bananas at me in a very hurtful manner. I said "hey stop throwing those bananas you nutty ape", and he just kept throwing them and -I- said (* CRACK! Annoying Man is knocked out by a sucker punch from 2GAMAAW's Uncle Febus *)
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