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Refutin' Rasputin |
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 What is it with some people? Apple could create a computer that does what you want before you think it and give it away for free and most of the PC-related sites would still say that it's crap and that Apple charges too much, is missing the boat, is doomed to failure, smells like cabbage, etc. etc. Steve Jobs could defecate golden bricks and places like CNET would say it's not "gold enough" and that gold sucks anyway.
Speaking of CNET though, they actually started dissing the new G5 already. Those guys are really on the ball. Basically the article states that since the iMac G5 doesn't have a built-in TV tuner and "Wi-Fi" card that people won't buy it.
Apple-basher John Dvorak also chimed in on the new iMac, in an article that MacDailyNews pointed out. Dvorak, relatively quiet on the Apple front lately, spouts off about all sorts of stuff in the article, amd there's so much wrong with what he says that I'm actually going to refute the entire thing. We've got a lot of refutin' to do so let's get started, shall we?
Apple's senior vice president for worldwide product marketing was replacing the recuperating Steve Jobs. He mentioned that the founder and chief executive would be back in September, and that "September cannot come soon enough." If he checked a calendar he'd find that, in fact, September came the next day. The company seems to have lost track of time, and it showed with the G5 iMac.
Ok, I've got to defend Phil here, who did an admirable job filling in for Steve with almost no new material whatsoever; Even if there's one day left until Steve comes back, saying that day can't come soon enough is still pretty reasonable and logical. Dvorak starts out his article with mean-spirited personal attacks on Phil and a snipe at Apple. Come on John, what did Apple ever do to you?
Schiller, wearing an ill-fitting 1950s-style blue shirt buttoned high, began by raving about how great Paris was and then how "amazing" the iPod (a digital music player) was and also how great was the iPod mini.
Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones - Dvorak doesn't seem like the snappiest dresser either (Nice tie, buddy). And yes, the iPod is amazing, and even if you don't personally like it, you have to admit it's selling like hotcakes.
It went from there to showing iPod ads. Ugh. These are the ads with black silhouettes spastically gyrating against colored backgrounds. "I don't know about you, but I wish I could dance like that," Schiller said. (OK, Phil, now the girls know never to go dancing with you.)
Another personal attack, and again, I would be willing to bet the "glass houses" argument would work here as well. The ads themselves are subject to one's own opinion, but they do get the point across, and have been mimicked by many other ads, so that should point to their success.
This iPod lovefest went on and on. What's more, Schiller added, the iPod is an "ecosystem!" It's hard to stomach all this nonsense.
Instead of arguing against why the iPod isn't an ecosystem, Dvorak mails it in and dismisses it as nonsense. Really earning your paycheck there, bud. What is this, the fifth grade? "You're wrong, I'm right, end of story." Quite the master debater.
Finally, after some other things are rolled out, including a search feature for the Mac, some graphics initiatives and other trivia, we find the new G5 iMac. Following the thread that Apple seems to have lost track of time, the machine comes in one old-fashioned color: 1988 platinum white. The design is hardly inspirational. In fact, if you put two headlamps on it and a metal sun visor over its "windshield," it would be reminiscent of a 1954 DeSoto.
Ah, there it is, the obligatory minimalization of cool stuff Apple has done. All of Tiger is reduced to "a search feature for the Mac, some graphics initiatives and other trivia". Right, well come talk to me once Microsoft implements the metadata search capability that will soon be available with OS X 10.4.
And "platinum white" Macs in 1988? Methinks Dvorak has upped his dosage of methadone. Macs were beige at that time, before even the PC world was beige. He wouldn't even be right if he had said 1998. And what the hell color is "platinum white"? Is it white or platinum?
The architecture is risky. First of all, they jammed the entire computer into the screen, making the idea of changing "monitors" or screens impractical.
That's the entire point of an "all-in-one" system, and has been since the original iMac, and in fact the original Mac in 1984. He can't have missed that, can he?
Observers on the Net are seeing this design as a precursor to an Apple (AAPL: news, chart, profile) notepad computer. To date, the notepad revolution, as predicted by Bill Gates, has been as successful as Blue Pepsi.
Nah, Steve Jobs has poo-pooed the tablet at least once before. For the "notepad revolution" to have not been as successful as Gates predicted is hilarious, because Gates and Co. were the ones who dreamed it up and heavily pushed it! So, if you take that paragraph and make it the complete opposite, you have something close to resembling the truth.
The Apple design team was obviously held to this design by edict, since the result is hardly jazzy or interesting. What's worse, the engineering required that all of the USB, audio, Ethernet and modem connectors (10 of them, not including the power line) are awkwardly and inconveniently placed on the back of the bulky monitor-computer. With all these wires running off the back of this top-heavy machine, there's a good possibility that one will get tripped over. I suspect the iMac will go flying. This lash-up just does not look stable.
The logical organization of all the I/O in one spot may not make much sense to one so PC-addled as Dvorak, but to many logical-minded people, it makes perfect sense. Um, everything is in one spot. That's nice. They're out of the way. Also nice. Dvorak's vision of a medusa-like computer with 10 wires at points as random and as far away from each other may someday be a hit in his chaotic, anarchistic vision of the future, but for now, the people have spoken and they don't want to have to consult a chart to see where all of the ports on their computer are.
As for the iMac falling over, I suspect that this is something Apple may have actually tested. I know some companies don't do a whole lot of that, but somehow, I don't think Steve Jobs and crew would let a product go to market with as fundamental a flaw as "it doesn't stand up". Besides, look at the huge honkin' Apple displays that use pretty much the same base, and there has been no class action lawsuit over toppling displays (Yet. Let's keep our fingers crossed.)
Even if I'm wrong, I'd still like to know what happened to all those fancy colors Apple was promoting. This unit is so white that when you visit the Apple Web site, you can barely see the computer as it disappears into the background of the site itself.
The fancy colors are now relegated to the iPod, which now seems to be Apple's primary focus. Schiller spent a lot of time bragging about Apple's 59 percent market share in the MP3 player market. Is this something to be proud of? Where does this market head? Almost anything with a small amount of memory can be turned into an MP3 player nowadays; you just need a headphone jack.
We go from color bashing to iPod bashing in a heartbeat. iPod is selling quite well, and we'll soon see about the iMac G5. And uh, what fancy colors exactly was Apple promoting?
Of course, the iPod is more than any old MP3 player. It's quite expensive, costing as much as $400. But as Schiller mentioned, it can hold 10,000 songs that "you can have with you all the time." What maniac needs to have 10,000 songs with them all the time?
Um, apparently all the maniacs that are buying iPods. I don't know about you, but I've seen more iPods on TV then ever: during the Olympics, during the World Series of Poker Tournament, on the news, I mean they're everywhere. I don't know how you could miss the iPod revolution.
The fact is that Apple is starting to believe its own publicity and has gone iPod jack-wacky. Moving from computers to consumer electronics is dangerous for Apple. It's especially dangerous if the company thinks that MP3 players and its variants are the future.
Perhaps if the company took the plunge and followed the path of Sony with branded cameras, headphones, amplifiers and home theaters in a box it would be more interesting. But milking this one pricey and faddish device is going to ruin the company if it is going to be the center of attention, which it now seems to be.
Apple isn't moving to being a consumer electronics company - they're merely presenting the iMacs as being akin to the iPod in the interest of selling to the average Joe that uses a PC and owns an iPod.
And what company wouldn't milk a product as successful as iPod!? If (heaven forbid) Microsoft had a player as successful as iPod, JD would probably be saying they need to do more with it, and tie it's marketing into other products.
Ahhhh.... setting the record straight is fun and satisfying!
We should keep in mind that Dvorak is basically a 'word-whore' paid by those with vested interests in keeping the status quo of computing where it's at. But it is nice to once in a while point out that these types of PC blowhards have no clue what they're talking about most of the time.
Not that I know what I'm talking about most of the time either, but at least I freely admit that fact and I don't try to distort the truth. Of course, I don't get paid anything close to what Dvorak does, and that should illustrate just how much the truth is worth in our society.
But uh, to end on a positive note... that iMac G5, she sure is pretty, huh!? Anyone out there feel like purchasing one for this underpaid Web Developer/writer wannabe? Y'know, in the interest of getting the truth out there. Because with a G5, you can do some serious refuting.
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September 2 2004, 12:04 PM EDT, by
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Comments:
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| nhmacusr |
9/2/04, 12:49 PM EDT |
It's fun watching all of these blowhards come out of the woodwork. The only valid complaint out there (and this one is reaching) is that it is shipping a little shy of RAM (I say a LITTLE shy of RAM - I saw one commentary where it said you need a Gig of RAM just to get the iLife suite to run efficiently - wonder if he's ever tried). Other than that, this is one snazzy box. I would get you one Jonahan, but I am too busy trying to scam my own. The only thing in his entire article that he touched on being true is the tablet thing - and he didn't even get that right. I could envision the new iMac as a hybrid tablet. Stay with me here..... Couldn't you imagine that 17" version mounted into your kitchen wall or cabinets with a touch screen? Now it looks a little more inviting doesn't it? Have another one in the garage, Call your wife/husband in for dinner via iChat (don't forget the kid's rooms). Stream your iTunes library to all of those places. Now granted, this is a pricy solution, but it would be cool..................
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| whatsinaname9000 |
9/2/04, 1:03 PM EDT |
hehe....windows-loving critics can be so funny sometimes.
the only thing i dont like about the new iMac is it's lack of pre-installed RAM. I have an 800 Mhz iMac G4, and it's got 512 mb of ram, which is more than the new one has.
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| cAtraXx |
9/2/04, 3:07 PM EDT |
Oh my god ... i just looked at the new iMac for the first time and now ... i need money to buy it. It's probably one of the best designs apple has ever made. Absolutely astounding.
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| dab2 |
9/2/04, 10:34 PM EDT |
See cAtraXx,
I was not making gay jokes, I was just trying to control my urges. With the tech specs of the new 1.8GHz iMac, all it will need is some extra memory and it should blow the doors off of my MDD dual 867Mhz G4! The frontside bus may not be a sexy as the big G5 towers but it is a lot better than my existing 133MHz!
I want one! I want one! I want one!
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| cAtraXx |
9/3/04, 7:02 AM EDT |
lol
I guess even looking at them is addictive. But i think this is the perfect desktop computer. It's fast, it takes up like no space at all and it has most of the features it's bigger brother/sisters have.
This is a must have, even though i'm a die hard powermac fan.
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| sweetjimmyhugs |
9/3/04, 8:50 AM EDT |
I've said it once and I'll say it again; I want to hump it!
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| Jedbeck |
9/3/04, 11:39 AM EDT |
SJH, I was going to go to Miami to the Apple Store this weekend to hump one, however stupid Hurricane Frances is keeping me from getting any. Guess I will just have to wait. Or I can be the first to say I humped one in Hurricane. Interesting.......
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| sweetjimmyhugs |
9/3/04, 12:18 PM EDT |
Jedbeck, I wish you the best of luck with reguards to humping the iMac G5... and being screwed by another hurricane.
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| TheBartender |
9/3/04, 1:50 PM EDT |
Jedbeck, I'll be beating you to the punch at the Aventura Mall's Apple Store. I have my hurricane-proof tent ready and everything...
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| Jedbeck |
9/3/04, 4:31 PM EDT |
Damn Foiled again!!!!!!! Maybe the new iMac likes a little 3-way action then?
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| TheBartender |
9/3/04, 5:03 PM EDT |
...You take the firewire port, I'll take superdrive slot...
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| Jedbeck |
9/3/04, 11:24 PM EDT |
LOL, Sound like a plan, but i think i will need to take the cable port in the arm. ;)
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| cAtraXx |
9/5/04, 4:40 AM EDT |
btw: I think calling Dvorak a "Word-Whore" is probably a bit too much. A real word whore would make it difficult by one way or another to tear it's arguments apart. How about we call him a big-mouthed bully word basher who basicly knows how to write an english sentance and who indeed knows what all the M$ junkies want to hear so that their hearts are comforted while they fight with windoze.
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| Mozfan |
9/7/04, 3:19 AM EDT |
Even money says Dvorak used the money Mr. Gates sent him when he proofed this article to buy a 20" iMac G5 and a 4G iPod.
~M
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| Patrick |
9/13/04, 3:29 PM EDT |
I think you might have misunderstood something: "The Notepad Revolution" itself is what Gates predicted - not of how unsuccessful "The Notepad Revolution" would turn out to be.
...unless I misunderstood you.
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| Shepherd |
9/16/04, 12:29 AM EDT |
Because you asked, "And what the hell color is 'platinum white'? Is it white or platinum?"
Where as I agree with your assesment of Dvorak's "article" in all it's ill informed and sensationalist glory, I thought I should point out that, unless I'm mistaken, "platinum white" is what Apple called that grey color they used on their machines prior to the iMac (like the 7600, 8600 generation of machines).
Cheers!
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| sweetjimmyhugs |
9/16/04, 10:57 AM EDT |
What is this, MDN? Lighten up people! This is 2 Guys...
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