 |
Search |
|
|
|
|
Classic 2 Guys |
|
10 Random Stories:
|
|
|
|
Star Wars Episode III & XP Users, Why the Force Isn't With Either of Them |
|
 A long long time ago, in a life far far away 3 kickass movies were released . . .
How many of us saw the original Star Wars trilogy? They were great, weren't they? The actors were talented, the writing wasn't bad, the special effects (for its day) were unbelievable, there were good guys, bad guys, aliens, droids, space ships, smugglers, thieves, bounty hunters and a whole lot of other wild and crazy stuff that created one of the largest franchises in history. And yet look at where we are now.
A not so long time ago in a place quite close 2 really suckass movies were released with a third one on the way. . .
Here we met young Anakin (who was conceived by the force, 'cause that makes sense) and learn all about Midichlorians (ain't even going to go there) and all of the wonderful things that led up to the original movies. There was just one problem this time around. You see the actors showed up, and the CGI people made their appearance, so did the costume designers, marketers, agents, prop creators, merchandisers, movie studios heads in fact, it looked like everybody and everything was there. Except for one thing of course, THE FUCKING PLOT.
This was a case where the movies didn't live up to the hype because all the movies were was hype. There was no substance, it was all smoke and mirrors, flash in the pan kind of stuff. There were no memorable scenes, no outstanding dialogue and very few witty remarks. In short, the first two movies were huge reeking piles of horse shit. And do you know the crazy part? Millions of people loved it. Thus based on the first 2 movies I can only conclude that the third movie will suck pretty hard as well.
Now, any Star Wars fan-boy nut case who reads this will instantly respond in one of the following two ways:
(I know because I got flamed pretty hard earlier today in a forum I posted in)
1. Insults - You're (pick one): gay, stupid, a moron, uneducated, a liberal, a conservative, communist, etc. (and yes, I was called all of these today)
2. Justification - I was told that the first 2 movies were needed to: explain the plot, show the characters, fill in detail, start story arcs etc.
So, in between getting called a faggot (repeatedly) some fans tried to explain why the movies were the way they were. Apparently the first 2 movies couldn't have filled in the back story, character profiles, and whatever, with a half way decent plot delivered by people who can actually act. To that I say, "yeah right!"
These people try desperately to justify why they believe the way they do, in spite of large amounts of evidence to the contrary. And when they are presented with logical arguments they resort to name calling and throwing a temper tantrum. Does this sound like anyone we know?
I bring all of this up because the Star Wars morons out there who love everything Lucas makes regardless of how bad it is, are kind of similar to the Windows morons who love everything Gates makes regardless of how bad it is. It almost like they have some kind of weird version of Stockholm Syndrome going on.
With Tiger out now, there are reviews everywhere on the Internet as well as TV stating how wonderful an OS it is. And in the same breath they say that they mention the 100,000 plus viruses/spyware/adware/malware that XP users currently have to deal with. Yet, when you actually criticize XP (or Star Wars) in front of a true believer they go nuts on you. It doesn't matter if they are removing spyware while they belittle your computer, stuff like that just seems to go right past them.
It seems that recently Lucas has picked up Gates habit of forgoing quality all together in the pursuit of money.
Anyway, soon Episode III will come out, and it will suck.
And then some indefinite time after that Longhorn will come out, and it will suck.
Meanwhile someone will mention these things and of course be ignored or insulted. You know, it is interesting to note that if the PM, CW and RoS movies didn't have the Star Wars logo on them, they would have been crucified at the box office. Because standing by themselves they were really pathetic movies, instead its the brand that carries them. Somewhat like XP, as an operating system it sucks, but it is popular because of the brand. Quality is nothing when you have a brand that ensures millions of morons will buy your shit.
In wrapping this up all I have to say is that I won't be buying Longhorn and that I have no problem renting Episode III. Later. |
|
May 9 2005, 8:26 AM EDT, by |
Comments:
|
| DJLC |
5/9/05, 10:28 AM EDT |
That was... somewhat off topic - but you do have a point. I always went to the Star Wars movies when they first came out - but lately they are just plain stupid. Besides, I A) don't even remember them (I remember very little from before I moved out of my bitc.. mom's place) and B ) Doesn't it all just seem a litte bit 90s to you?
|
| Jonahan |
5/9/05, 10:48 AM EDT |
I totally disagree with the Star Wars thing - not that I'm a super uber SW geek and am up Lucas' butthole, but I think they were pretty good. (Pretty tough to do a history of something that was already done and not screw things up, plus the bar was set pretty high, so I cut him some slack).
But anyhoo, I like the metaphor at the end :)
|
| John Nichols |
5/9/05, 12:05 PM EDT |
I liked the first three movies. The last two, not so much. But times have changed and so have I. I am a different movie consumer than I was back then, I've seen more films and my taste has evolved. Lucas must have changed too. It's hard to compare the two movie eras. I like Dune when it came out, and critics hated it.
I like Panther and will buy Tiger. I hated Windows 95, 98, and ME. Windows 2000 and XP don't bother me so much. I don't have a choice here at work, so I try not to let it bother me. I bet more people would switch if it was their own choice.
|
| ME |
5/9/05, 1:35 PM EDT |
I used to be a super star wars fan. I grew up with episodes 4,5, and 6 ingrained into my psyche. I lived and breathed star wars. I had the comics and the toys and the books and bed sheets and games etc. I wanted a lightsaber more than crack or pussy or gold. There was even a point in the early 90's when star wars was even almost cool and had a kinda retro, 'girls wont think you are a dork if you say you like star wars' vibe going on. Star wars was a part of me.
Then he re-released the 'special edition'. I waited with baited breath and saw them all on opening night. Despite the fact that he ruined the trilogy pretty much, I was in complete denial until...
1999- the year LucAss released 'phantom waste of film'.
George Lucas ruined my childhood. Both of the new star wars were so bad. I feel cheated and raped. I am speechless and cant even type anymore because I get so angry thinking about how [doodoo]ty they are.
On a positive note, I have read some of the early reviews for ROTS, and they are actually positive, and acknowledge the fact that the first 2 prequels sucked, and say that ROTS is actually good, and that it is even DARKER than 'Empire'.....
As much as I want to believe this I won't until I see it with my own eyes.
Oh yeah btw... Did u hear lucas is making Indiana Jones 4? WTF?!?!?! he's gonna ruin another great trilogy Someone needs to stop him!
|
| jack |
5/9/05, 7:33 PM EDT |
Yeah, i'm still seeing ROTS whether or not it sucks, just cause i have to :P. The special effects will be good, the music will give me chills at points, and i'll still get all giddy when i see anakin turn evil. I just can't help it, even if the last two WEREN'T good.
-- Jack (the guy who's coincidentally listening to the ROTS soundtrack he just downloaded off iTunes :P )
Whether or not the movies suck, i still always like the music ;)
|
| cropsy |
5/10/05, 2:44 PM EDT |
I agree about the Windows fanboys cause I used to be one, until I tried a friend's iMac a year ago and promptly went out and bought an iBook. Am running Tiger now, and apart from a couple of niggles, it's damned fine.
I liked The Phantom Menace (I had to wait 16 years, damnit), but AOTC left me cold. Still can't wait for Sith, though.
Oh, almost forgot. You're a [edited]guy[/edited]got. ;-)
|
|
5/11/05, 10:10 AM EDT |
Kinda noticed you don't like being called names, but you refer to those you disagree with as morons.
|
| jstoup |
5/11/05, 12:12 PM EDT |
->Baal
I never said I mind when people call me names I merely pointed out that some people had choice descriptions for me.
Please read my articles before you post your comments as it tends to help weed out the inane replies. Thanks.
|
| Stevie Stets |
5/11/05, 2:51 PM EDT |
I bring all of this up because the Star Wars morons out there who love everything Lucas makes regardless of how bad it is, are kind of similar to the Windows morons who love everything Gates makes regardless of how bad it is.
OK, I don't know which sites you go to, but Gates lovers out there are few and far between. As a matter of fact, even people who dislike the Mac and its OS will concede that Windows needs a lot of work. This is far, far different than the case of Mac zealots. When Steve Jobs messes up, they will defend him to his death. In the South Park Movie, no one Windows fan had any problems watching Bill Gates get shot in the head!
BTW - Mark Hamill was and never will be a good actor.
|
| jstoup |
5/11/05, 3:04 PM EDT |
->Stevie Stets
>OK, I don't know which sites you go to, but Gates
> lovers out there are few and far between.
Sorry, I sometimes sit across one at work and he irks me so. . .
>This is far, far different than the case of Mac
>zealots. When Steve Jobs messes up, they will
>defend him to his death
Well, the call us zealots for a reason, duh.
>In the South Park Movie, no one Windows fan had
>any problems watching Bill Gates get shot in
>the head!
And thats because South Park is such an accurate reflection of reality.
:- )
>BTW - Mark Hamill was and never will be a
>good actor.
I kind of liked him actually. I think it was his blank stare that did it for me.
|
| Tero |
5/11/05, 3:13 PM EDT |
Well, you could replace all references to Star Wars fans and Windows/Gates what ever fans with a reference to Apple fans in the article and end up with even better, more truthful article. Not that there aren't even few Windows fanatics... but considering the armies of Mac zealots spreading their "I love Apple" "Steve Jobs Is God" "Apple does no wrong" "I close my eyes from all the bad things that are related to Apple" etc. propaganda... why bother writing about few Windows or even Star Wars zealots... when there probably even worse behaveour from almost every Mac user out there.
|
| jstoup |
5/11/05, 3:36 PM EDT |
->Tero
You will of course excuse me as I paradge your bloody head around on my truncheon for your heritical comment.
But thanks for reading!
|
| speedyrev |
5/11/05, 3:42 PM EDT |
Interesting article. Could've done without the "F- Bomb" though.
|
| Stevie Stets |
5/11/05, 5:47 PM EDT |
I think it's Mark Hamill's pretty eyes that got you hooked cause the man cannot act!
P.S. As it stands, you are gay.
|
| Stevie Stets |
5/11/05, 9:10 PM EDT |
I should have added in my last post - I enjoyed your article, and your comments to my post. I hope you enjoy the article of Mark Hamill. Have a good one!
|
| jstoup |
5/12/05, 8:40 AM EDT |
->Stevie Stets
Hum, he kind of reminds me of Tara Reid. Pretty, but acting is definately not their strong suit.
: )
|
| whatsinaname9000 |
5/15/05, 6:20 PM EDT |
The main similarity between Micro$hit and the Star Wars trilogy:
You can do nothing but watch as the quality declines into nothingness.
|
This article is archived, so you may not comment on it.
(The good news is there's always the shoutbox, the forums or the contact form if you're socially-inclined at the moment!)
|
|
|
|
Site Links |
|
|
|
|
Deep Thoughts |
|
|
As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!
|
|
Around Da Web |
|
| iProng: |
iPhone steals show at CTIA Wireless 2007
|
DLO offers dual cover fashion case for iPod
|
AT&T received 1M inquiries on iPhone
|
| MacDailyNews: |
Ars Technica in-depth review: Apple TV ?impressed all those who touched it?
|
Inside Apple?s Mac OS X 10.5 Leopard Server OS
|
The chips inside Apple TV
|
| Think Secret: |
Adobe Creative Suite 3 pricing revealed
|
|
|
We Like: |
|
|
|
|
Side Projects |
|
Jonahan
- JediPoker.net
- Jonahan.com
- iProng
- MacProng
iKen
Jedbeck
J.P.
|
|
