 |
Search |
|
|
|
|
Classic 2 Guys |
|
10 Random Stories:
|
|
|
|
Johnny AppleSeed and the Quest for the First Apple |
|
 Well, I am back at long last! I'm sure none of you knew I was gone (or even cared!) but I was on a mission of exteme secrecy and importance. You see, I was on a quest for an elusive treasure in the heart of our nation's capitol. That treasure is none other than the first Apple computer ever made, presumably by the great Steve Wozniak himself (perhaps with Jobs looking on over his shoulder but then later claiming credit for it). It was a quest undertaken at great risk, but it was done for the good of the Mac-using community. That said, on with the story!
After a fairly uneventful trip by motorized carriage to Washington D.C., my comrades and I set out by bicycle towards the ancient Museum of American History. The party included Lynn, a.k.a. Slackin, the Mistress of All That Is Slack, and Queen of the (Computer) Virus and Chris - our tracker, whose guidance and knowledge of the land was indispensible.
After some stops at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, the Korean War Memorial and a quick ride through a drained reflection pool, we were soon beset by obstacles. It was almost as if some unseen hand were trying to keep us from our goal. It could have been the all-seeing Eye of Bill or one of his minions such as Steve "Monkey Boy" Ballmer, but irregardless, we knew that the powers of Redmond were against us.
First, the seat on my aforementioned two-wheeled cycle inexplicably fell off. Having to ride for miles in downtown D.C. while standing on the pedals did not deter me, however. We pressed on. With the help of our trusty native guide, we were able to weave through traffic the likes of which have not been seen in D.C. since Sonny and Cher last performed in the city. Then, since I was putting so much pressure on the bike's pedals, pumping furiously to reach our goal, one of them promptly fell off. I cursed Bill's name and swore that I would one day defeat him. We were then able to apply a temporary fix to the pedal and proceeded onward.
Upon reaching our destination, we had to gain entry. A quick slide through a closing rock door and a jaunt through a metal detector later, and we were in. Snaking our way through narrow passages and tiptoeing gingerly past ancient traps we eventually reached the room containing the holy grail.
The only problem was, WHICH ONE IS IT? There were computers of every make and model, with cases made of lucite and steel, computers with 5 1/4 " floppy drives, tape drives, even punch-card driven ones. There were huge mainframes and tiny personal computers, but which one was the holy grail of computing? Which one of these ignited the personal computer revolution, putting technology in the hands of the people?
I knew that my decision was very important - other foolhardy adventurers' skeletons lay strewn about the room, examples of what would happen if my choice was wrong. I looked around and noticed one computer whose casing was wood. "That's it!", I thought. It had to be the one. It was the case that was the most non-descript, most natural, and well, it also had the word "Apple" engraved in it (pretty big giveaway, that).
I reached out to touch it, fully expecting any number of traps to fall. Giddy with anticipation, I touched the relic, and ... nothing happened.
Hey, it's just a computer, a device that lets you compute 1's and 0's. It's cool and all, but what'd you expect? Light to shine down from the heavens? The gift of immortality? The ability to smite ignorant and unwitting PC users? Nah, none of that happened.
However, I do feel a whole hell of a lot cooler for having touched the first Apple computer! The one that started it all. Without it, we may not have have the Mac, or personal computers - heck we might all be using text-based dummy terminals that connect to a mainframe.
Oh, and also, at that moment a huge boulder rolled out and we had to run for our lives or risk being crushed or entombed forever, so that was cool too. |
|
October 15 2003, 6:01 PM EDT, by
 |
Comments:
|
| Jonathan |
10/15/03, 6:06 PM EDT |
Been watchin too much Indy again jonahan! :)
|
| PantherPPC |
10/15/03, 7:36 PM EDT |
Didn't Woz give the first one to a school teacher?
|
| Jonahan |
10/16/03, 8:25 AM EDT |
Hey, ok, it's not necessarily the FIRST one ever made, but it's the first of that model.
Thanks for bringing me down.
j/k =)
|
| rlhamon |
10/16/03, 10:12 AM EDT |
I glad you didn't have to use the whip on the security guards.
|
| Chris |
10/17/03, 2:47 AM EDT |
Some of you guys take the Mac way too seriously ;) This story reminds me of muslims going to Mecca for a once-in-a-lifetime pilgrimige to the holy land. That said, if I'm in DC I'll be there touching it too.
|
| rlhamon |
10/17/03, 8:10 AM EDT |
humm....it reminds me of someone going to the Smithsonian to look at the history and used an indiana jones theme. but why not take the mac seriously? Os X is a proven secured, stable, and easiest to use operating system. it's the computer than many people spend hours on a day and others it's where they make there money using there mac computer.
actually when you come down to it i don't think this article is taking the importance of that first version of apple computer. it's what changed the way the world works it's an invention that has the magnitude as the light bulb, the car, indoor pluming, and the ability to travel electricity. so you asked why take that seriously that's why it's the once invention that started the best computer company and invented the home pc.
|
| Chris |
10/17/03, 2:10 PM EDT |
Good point. I wasn't being serious when I asked why he took it so....errr...seriously. All the deserved credit for the computer age aside, it does seem to reflect a trip to the "holy land."
|
| Aitrus |
12/26/03, 12:16 PM EDT |
"The ability to smite ignorant and unwitting PC users?" - Get real, macboy. Learn some civility - not everyone wants to shell out thousands of dollars for a computer with one mouse button, and then shell out thousands more for a damned screen to use the thing! I prefer PCs not because I'm a big huge supporter of M$, but because I enjoy building my own computers, of which I have neither the money or the patience to deal with a mac.
|
This article is archived, so you may not comment on it.
(The good news is there's always the shoutbox, the forums or the contact form if you're socially-inclined at the moment!)
|
|
|
|
Site Links |
|
|
|
|
Deep Thoughts |
|
|
If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and they make fun of it, we should say we were just kidding, that this isn't really our civilization, but a gag we hoped they would like. Then we tell them to come back in twenty years to see our real civilization. After that, we start a crash program of coming up with an impressive new civilization. Either that, or just shoot down the aliens as they're waving goodbye.
|
|
Around Da Web |
|
| iProng: |
iPhone steals show at CTIA Wireless 2007
|
DLO offers dual cover fashion case for iPod
|
AT&T received 1M inquiries on iPhone
|
| MacDailyNews: |
Ars Technica in-depth review: Apple TV ?impressed all those who touched it?
|
Inside Apple?s Mac OS X 10.5 Leopard Server OS
|
The chips inside Apple TV
|
| Think Secret: |
Adobe Creative Suite 3 pricing revealed
|
|
|
We Like: |
|
|
|
|
Side Projects |
|
Jonahan
- JediPoker.net
- Jonahan.com
- iProng
- MacProng
iKen
Jedbeck
J.P.
|
|
