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MacWorld Expo Rumor Roundup |
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 Sources close to 2GAMAAW (like really close, like "hey back off my grill, homes" close) have given us inside information mere hours before the Stevenote. This insider info is about entirely new products as well as some dirt about OS X 10.4 Tiger.
We haven't had much time to digest everything, but here are just some of the announcements Apple will be making this afternoon:
- Apple's $99 Bluetooth Nose Hair Trimmer - the "iGiene" - will give you good hygiene and stock info at the same time
- Apple's high-end PowerMacs will include an internal easy-bake oven
- Apple's next version of OS X will be code-named Mac OS X 10.5 African Hairless.
- Tiger's version of iChat will automatically block such overused acronyms such as LOL, LMAO, BRB, AFK, LMFAO and RATHSMWAHLMAO (running around the house slapping a midget with a herring laughing my ass off).
- iPorn software will be introduced, which is like a podcast aggregator and pulls the latest feeds from all your favorite fetish sites (it will create a whole new medium called porncasting)
- Going along with the iPorn is Apple's $99 USB FUFME connector - you will finally truly be able to hump your Apple hardware
- In addition to the "iPod micro", Apple will announce the iPlay, which is a flash-based iPod with a 5 MB drive that allows the user to carry around their very favorite song for only $99 dollars. Automatic looping is said to be the biggest feature, along with a battery life of 2.5 million years
- iBlackBook - essentially iPod Photo with a rating system for potential hookups and a hot button that uses the integrated phone for a late night booty call
- iPimp v.2 will finally give pimps efficient bitch-management and time-billing software
- Apple's iSight will sport a new "fugly detection" feature and, depending on the settings, can blur that person's face or replace it with a random picture from iPorn
- Apple's iPhone, developed in conjunction with Motorola, will sport automatic pranking features with the numbers of all the executives at Microsoft built in
Shirtless iPants are unfortunately NOT on our radar. We had really hoped for such a device from Apple, as it would greatly increase marketshare from Windows users that already have shirts - but then again would Apple be able to get the price low enough to compete with other Pants-makers? Either way, the point is moot, as it appears the Shirtless iPants rumor is false. (Sad really, as they could have integrated the FUFME accessory into it.)
Here's to a great MacWorld Expo and Keynote!
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January 11 2005, 10:10 AM EDT, by
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Comments:
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| nhmacusr |
1/11/05, 2:38 PM EDT |
Well, the info is in.... all of the rumors were true, iWork, flash iPod and $499 Mac. My only question...... what happens to the PB line? It's been half a year since they have been updated. What gives?
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| nhmacusr |
1/11/05, 2:41 PM EDT |
I just had a thought.... You don't suppose that they are holding back the bump for the debut of Tiger? That might mean that the next PB rev is going to be significant.
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