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New MacWorld Boston Keynote Speaker |
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 As avid Apple news-hounds know by now, Apple itself is not going to be attending MacWorld Expo Boston this July. Resident Bostonians that they are, the As The Apple Turns gang has covered this story a lot lately, and a petition has even been created to get atAT's very own Jack Miller to be the Keynote Speaker. We absolutely adore Jack (in that totally platonic, heterosexual way of course) and would have loved it if the Jacknote did take place, but for better or worse we have word to the contrary.
In fact a guy we kinda rely on for juicy Mac rumors and inane babbling will be headlining: Our very own Cosmic Stan! Ok, he's not "ours" per se - I mean, you can't bottle lightning nor can you catch sunlight in a ... er.... bottle... but he does hang around here quite a bit and we've taken a liking to the guy.
For those who don't know, Cosmic Stan is rumored to have been a brilliant engineer at NASA. He gained fame as an 'advisor' for news site The Onion, has since bumped around the U.S., eventually winding up in our neck of the woods where he frequently stops by to shed his own unique brand of insight and somtimes vague and semi-coherent rumors about something Apple is cooking up.
When we asked him how he got the Keynote gig, he replied with, "Got to find the exponential thermostat of the hydro-spatializer, farmhand. Sleep soon, so long after molecular convergence with the splinctonomy. Rabbits with Steve Jobs."
Excited to learn how revered he was in the industry, we prodded him for anything regarding his keynote speech. "Sping spang, reverse botulism tautology-meter in the den. Got a spatula in his hand for me, for me to discover the reverse quantum mechanics of the time traveling lawn gnomes, son. See.... see.... it's in the bologna!!!"
Amazed that we were privy to some of the speech he'll be delivering to the masses in Boston, we got him a Klondike bar and then asked if his sources have turned up any juicy rumors on the Apple hardware front: "Freeowwwwww, can't hit 'em hard, got to go BANG! Irrelevant equations are the retrudescent space monkeys of doom - show me the spants, please"
A lot could be made of this, but we think it means a headless cube Mac running OS X on Intel hardware. And spants. Definitely spants.
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May 14 2004, 4:38 PM EDT, by
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Comments:
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| rlhamon |
5/14/04, 6:10 PM EDT |
Ahh Crap I was waiting on the phone call to be the Keynote speaker. I guess that I will have to wait until next year.
But I will be happy to Keynote at the First Lima Ohio Mac gathering. Where Mac heads gather and talk the talk and walk the walk and tell the windows users if you want to be the man whooo you have to beat the man! I need to stop watching so much WWE Monday Night
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| sweetjimmyhugs |
5/16/04, 7:58 PM EDT |
And start showering...
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| treehouse |
5/21/04, 10:45 AM EDT |
It's not too late by a long shot. I still want a live worldwide satellite feed via QT.
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5/23/04, 2:24 PM EDT |
hay uncle john. I don,t know any other way to get a hold of you but to come on here. I really hope you get this because i need to talk to you. well here is my e-mail address so please get back to me [email protected] and please no one else respond to this but john unless you have another address to write to him direct. well hope to here from you soon.. michelle
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| Jonahan |
5/25/04, 1:59 PM EDT |
Michelle, check your email. Glad to find you again ... hop on aim or ichat or something and we can talk more: jooblie is my screen name.
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| Jake Rome |
5/26/04, 8:35 PM EDT |
Wow, glad to see that some of the bloggers are still fanning the flames of the Jacknote fire. Alas, you appear correct, and it is too late.
Oh well, maybe we can get organized a little earlier for 2005 and give it another shot!
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I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.
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