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iMac Jr. from Apple? |
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 As usual around this site, Fridays are reserved for kicking back and gettin' jiggy with it. For those not 'down' with all the cool hip phrases the kids are using these days, that means we get even less serious than usual and do things like make up rumors and hold fake interviews with execs in the computer world.
This week, we've got something especially juicy for you. Apparently, Apple has been listening to users' requests to make a sub-$800 Mac to entice switchers. Thanks to the tireless work of our crack squad of miniature ravenous winged ninja monkeys (who also just happen to wear ballerina outfits), we've learned that Apple plans to debut what they've dubbed the "iMac Jr.", or "Wireless PC Jr." depending on who they're marketing to. We've even been able to snag an EXTREMELY rare advance marketing piece of the product:
 Some of the features of the new Mac include:
• An Enter key instead of a Return key to make Windows switchers feel more comfortable
• An uglified, more Windows-like version of OS X to help ease the transition
• Basic, primary colors to keep the Windows users interest ("Hey look at me, play with me!")
• A very attractive $29.95 price to entice even the cheapest and most frugal of the Windows mindset
• Specs include a floppy disk drive, on-board ("integrated") audio and video, an 800Mb hard drive, and an energy-efficient 66mhz processor stripped from an old Performa 640
• The first truly wireless Mac, it doesn't even need to be plugged in for electricity - it's powered solely by internal batteries! (Four AA - not included)
• Unfortunately, no input/output or connectivity to the Internet is included in the base package, although build-to-order options will be available through the online Apple Store
In an effort to alleviate Windows' uses concerns about the Mac, Apple stresses in it's literature that the iMac Jr. is a "Real Computer". Also stressed is the fact that iMac Jr. provides not only "Hours and hours of learning fun!", but also the ability to do spelling, math, games, and music, thereby squashing any further questions about the Macs ability to run certain types of software.
All in all, for just under $30US, we think iMac Jr. will sell like hotcakes and provide potential switchers with a great entry-level Mac with a fantastic upgrade path to bigger and better Macs.
Oh and this just in, Apple is also gearing up for entry into the water treatment system market:
The rumored slogan to be used in the upcoming ad campaign: "Who does number 2 work for!?"
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June 4 2004, 11:34 AM EDT, by
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Comments:
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| dab2 |
6/4/04, 11:54 AM EDT |
Imagine 1100 of these little buggers, xgrid, and... and... well, nevermind.
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| iTim |
6/4/04, 6:41 PM EDT |
It won't sell. It sounds like they forgot the biggest switcher item to make those PC folk feel warm and comfy... built-in viruses.
Unless the iMac Jr. can completely wipe it's hard drive clean once a week and spontaneously send porn to everyone in the Address book, they just won't 'get it.'
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| iTim |
6/4/04, 6:43 PM EDT |
What is that thing on top of the tangerine iMac below this most excellent article?
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| David Duncan |
6/5/04, 1:24 AM EDT |
Looks like it would appeal more to tiny kids that potential switchers. Personally, I think Apple is setting up to make a fool of itself. Too many colors and a child toy look.
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| sweetjimmyhugs |
6/5/04, 1:42 PM EDT |
Awesome! I can't wait to get 10 of them! This is the best Apple product since the iPod mini! Boo Ya!
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| cAtraXx |
6/5/04, 2:38 PM EDT |
omfg ?
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| rlhamon |
6/5/04, 7:32 PM EDT |
Cool ... 4 AA batteries I won't have to bother paying the electric bill.
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| HTML Samurai |
6/7/04, 11:30 AM EDT |
David Duncan = Not Getting It
This Article = Sarcasm (I hope...)
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| sweetjimmyhugs |
6/7/04, 11:43 AM EDT |
HTML Samurai = Hit the nail on the head
rlhamon = Never paid his electric bill in his life. Who does he think he's fooling?
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| whatsinaname9000 |
6/7/04, 5:14 PM EDT |
well, it's better than any windows PC i've ever seen
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| newbie |
6/8/04, 12:41 AM EDT |
ok, i'm new around here, but could you tell us where to actually find one of these? please?
(no luck googling)
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| newbie |
6/8/04, 10:46 AM EDT |
i really would like to have one of these toys. anyone know where to actually get one?
vtech "Deskpro" is the closest i've been able to find. but it's not that close.
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| Jonahan |
6/9/04, 7:32 PM EDT |
newbie, I'm not sure where you can pick one up - my g/f got it in an ad with her Visa bill (of all places). She's not sure where it is now, but if we find it I'll post here. ;)
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| Mario |
6/10/04, 4:02 AM EDT |
Step 1: Put in batteries.
Step 2: Screw in battery cover with Phillips screwdriver.
Step 3: ... There's no step 3!
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| callmelenny |
6/14/04, 1:38 PM EDT |
does it have a 2-button mouse?
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| newbie |
6/14/04, 9:30 PM EDT |
Jonahan-
thanks. i really want one of these.
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| Jonahan |
6/16/04, 8:27 PM EDT |
iTim --- sorry i missed your comment, but that's a pre-iSight webcam on the tangerine iMac :)
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| newbie |
6/22/04, 11:02 AM EDT |
hey, anyone ever find out how to actually get one of these toys? i'd still like to get one!
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| Macguy |
6/24/04, 7:21 PM EDT |
Hasn't anyone heard of the eMac? I think Apple should market it - not only is it a darn cheap Mac, it comes with a lot of good stuff that's extra on PCs that price. Probably Apple should wait on an ad until Intel starts its new campaign in the fall to de-emphasize the gigahertz speed. That way at least one of the eMac doubts potential buyers may have evaporates...
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| Macguy |
6/24/04, 7:23 PM EDT |
Oh, I just happened to actually read the article. Boy, am I thick as a brick! Maybe Fisher-Price has got this on their drawing boards?
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| newbie |
7/16/04, 3:21 PM EDT |
still hoping to find one of these. anyone find one?
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This article is archived, so you may not comment on it.
(The good news is there's always the shoutbox, the forums or the contact form if you're socially-inclined at the moment!)
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Deep Thoughts |
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
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Jonahan
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